Tales From the Front Step/ The Thinker/ And the asshat of the day award goes to...

Just me and the crickets. Laughing hysterically. Me that is. Not the crickets. Laughing- REALLY LAUGHING- at that foolish http://www.yearbookyourself.com/ pic I made. I mean, jeeze. It's HYSTERICAL! See? ROFLSNORTINGMFAO! Wiping tears from my eyes laughter. Ok, you get the point. So I sat, laughing like a loon on and off, scaring the damn crickets.

Contemplated a bunch of things. Was a busy day. Things accumulated to contemplate. Contemplated some things from my past that connect to the present still. Sighed over them a little. Got sad over them a little. Wondered over them a little. Just one of those things.

The asshat award goes to me tonight, I'm afraid. You know when you just say something you wished to God you bit your tongue in half before you blurted it out? Hmm. My tongue is still whole. But I think my foot is so far down my mouth I can feel my toe ring pinching my ass. And it was funny and it was horrifyingly embarrassing and it was a good-lord-suck-me-into-a-black-hole-oopsie-may-I-disappear-forever-"WHOAAAA NELLIE!" moment. Yes, a horrible wince/cringe episode.

One that you can feel the burn from for a while.

Pfffft.

Nooo, not going to tell you. It's enough to lord it over me. I pretty much made myself look pretty damn stupid.

*sigh*

"No shit Watson." Said Sherlock.

*shudder*

Unconscious Mutterings *playing catch up!*

1. House :: WHACK!


2. Think :: dream


3. Clot :: blood


4. Believe me :: trust


5. Fumigation :: clean


6. Bore :: drag


7. Luck :: not


8. Patient :: rock


9. Tremors :: shake


10. Pickles :: poke

1. Psychic :: nostrababe


2. Cherries :: pops


3. Spooky :: song
Groceries :: money

4. Yogurt :: yummy


5. Kitchen :: utensil


6. Nothing personal :: right


7. Be nice :: lol


8. Delivery :: candygram
   
9. Cry :: sorrow


10. Stretch :: good


11. Efficient :: anal


12. Brunch :: awesome


13. Afro :: big


14. Preheat :: oven


15. Delicious :: mmmmm...


16. Global warming :: sad


17. Actions :: louder


18. Ride :: *snicker*

OK! That's all for now! PHEW!

Behind on My Mutterings

1. Month to month :: tedious


2. Adjusted :: tinkered


3. Prank :: bad


4. Mop :: bucket


5. Clarity :: Held


6. Parenting :: ?


7. Glenn :: Scott or John?


8. Fingerprint :: ID


9. Pineapple :: song


10. Attorney :: $

Tales From the Front Step-With my eyes closed. In the dark.

I'm sure I will soon have more exciting tales from the front step. I was just sitting out there, thinking about all these stories. I sit and think out there often. Hashing out issues and ideas, listening to the wind and wildlife. Just sittin-n-chillin. However. A couple things you should never do while out there thinking on that front step. Do not sit out there with your eyes shut. I do that. To visualize stuff. I shouldn't. It's dumb. Things come around the side of the house and steps. They sneak up on you in the dark that way. Skunks, possums, cats, mousezillas, frankensnails, spiders and bugs for starters. Bad enough as it is. The others? They would be the bigger critters. Like the 50lb rabbits and woodchucks, the deer and the coyotes. (which freaked my ass right out when the whole pack howled in the back yard this winter. HOWLING! IN THE BACK YARD! YIKES! *I was on the front step*) Yeah. EEP! And. The. Big. Cat. When I say "Big Cat" I don't mean a larger than normal felis domesticus. I mean a Cougar/Mountain Lion type cat. The one that has been sighted in the area. For years. I HAVE seen a reliable picture of a ginormous paw print from next door. RELIABLE people have seen this thing. It's been on the news for cripes sakes! So, note to self? Don't be a dummy and sit with your eyes closed. Jeeze! And turn the dang light on while you're at it! That would be the other dumb thing. Sitting in the dark in the wild boonies. *What were you thinking! Put your big pants on!*